About a year ago I was sitting in an auditorium of about 1200 students worshiping together at a camp known as summit. This was our first night at summit and I had recently graduated high school just a month beforehand. I remember vividly sitting in my chair listening to the words of a song (for the life of me I have no idea which song it was) that just broke my heart. I sat in my chair praying to God finally realizing that I need to start taking my future seriously. I screwed around in high school and never really put any thought towards what it was that I wanted to do with my life, or the more important thought, what God wanted to do with my life through me. After pouring my heart out to my fellow students that night in small group I received warm welcoming and understanding from everyone around me and I'm sure many prayed for me on the spot.
Later that night, I was texting a friend and telling her the scary realization that had come across my heart. Immediately her response was this "you should be a youth pastor." I don't know how to describe it, but I felt as if in that one text God got a hold of my heart and said "LISTEN!" After much surrendering and arguing with God, I told him I would follow wherever he led me in life. I believe this is where he has called me.
Now, read this:
Elijah, a prophet of God, was told by God that there would be a drought for three years in the land of Israel and after those three years were up that it would rain. Elijah had heard from God, got down on his face on the top of a mountain after the three years were up and prayed. Seven times he had to tell his servant "go back" and and six times his servant responded "there is nothing there..."
He had clearly heard the voice of God but what he had heard wasn't matching up with what he was seeing.
Man do I feel like this sometimes. Especially when people (critics of what I believe God has called me to do) tell me "there is nothing there..." What really sucks is when I hear this from people I consider friends. It breaks my heart whenever they look at me weird when I start talking about this great calling that has been placed on my life. But like Elijah, I'm holding on to what I have heard. God is not one who would lie, He is fully capable of full filling everything He has already initiated in your life. I am not backing down from what I have heard! Even though there may not be anything to see now, eventually those same people who are criticizing my vision will come back and say "a cloud the size of a man's hand is rising from the sea" (well maybe they won't say EXACTLY that, but you get the idea)
No matter who you are or what you feel God has laid on your heart, here are my words of encouragement: Hold on to what you have heard! Even if what you have heard doesn't match up with what you are seeing, the payoff is coming! In between the promise and the payoff is the process, and it's usually a painful process. But the more painful the process, the more beautiful the payoff is gonna be! Keep your vision in sight! Even when there is nothing to see...
-andy
*this post was inspired by a talk I heard about 8 months ago at Catalyst.
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